Kiss and Tell
by DeceptiveSoftness
Summary: Now Naruto was always up for an adventure but this was just ridiculous. Alternate universes? His life as an anime? What in the name of god had he gotten himself into?
1. A Whole New World

**A/N: **Hello everyone, first of all I just want to say yes, this story has been adopted off the wonderful KittyMarks. I loved reading the her version, named 'Epic Indulgence' and was gutted when she discontinued it so I requested permission to take it on and adapt it and, as you can see, I was given free reign. Also I'm taking little liberites with the characters personalities, where this story starts off they've been a team for a little over three months but have yet to go on the Zabuza/Wave arc. They know each others little quirks and habits and are closer than they were in the cannon. Naruto is a bit... Deidara-ish, Sakura is competent but still a fangirl, Sasuke is a bit more emotional and he interacts more with his teamates but has a code of honour that's a little samurai-ish and Kakashi is a lazy pervert who deep down cares for his team but is outwardly apathetic... so he's pretty much cannon. XD

I want to say thank you very much to all those who read and reviewed it before and that I hope you enjoy this version too ^^

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto and if you recognise a character/place/item chances are it isn't mine. All chapters are named after the song I was listening too when I wrote them, I do not own these songs. This chapters title goes to Disneys Little Mermaid.

**Rating: **This chapter is ratedT for language.

Kiss and Tell.  
_By DeceptiveSoftness._

Chapter One: Part Of That World. 

Sasuke slowly walked deeper into the forest, his sandled feet crunching gently against the fallen leaves that littered the forest floor. It was early Autumn and the entire village was ablaze with the orange and reds of fallen leaves, the price of being nestled in the middle of a huge group of trees. The Uchiha absently reached up and adjusted his earpiece so that he could pick up the instructions from his sensei when the man finally decided to put down his book and pay attention to the mission at hand, all he could hear right now was static and the occasional yell from Naruto.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, the damn dobe was so loud that he was probably scaring away the target, admittedly he wasn't the _real_ dead last, he did after all pass the genin exam when so many other wannabe-ninja failed, but the orange clad teen made the funniest angry faces whenever he was insulted and somedays, when Sakura was being extra annoying and Kakashi was being extra late the only thing that eased the boredom and stopped him from following in his brothers footsteps was insulting his blonde teammate. Suddenly there was a crackle from the earpiece and his senseis voice sounded down the line.

"Are you in position?" he asked lazily and through the earpiece Sasuke could hear a faint rusling noise as his sensei turned the pages of his book. He scowled as he answered and glared at the innocent tree he was hiding behind as though he wanted to set it on fire with the force of his irritation alone, why of all the jounin in the entire village did he have to get saddled with the laziest, inattentive and uncaring sensei there was. "Yes." he growled and his answer was echoed by Sakura and Naruto. "How far away is the target?" Kakashi asked with hint of amusement in his voice like he knew exactly what Sasuke was thinking.

The dark haired teen peered around his tree and into the thick gathering of prickly bushes just up ahead, he could see a small shadow dart behind one of the bushes and large baleful green eyes stared at him from behind a particularly thorny part of the plant as he gauged the distance. "Three metres." he muttered into the mouthpiece as he braced himself to reach into the thorny plant. He needn't have bothered because as soon as he took a step, Naruto hopped out from behind his hiding spot, shot a glare at Sasuke shouting "I've got the target in my sights!" and started to claw around in the prickly plant/bush thing. He emerged a few moments later holding a squirming, hissing cat that was trying it's best to scratch out his eyes.

Sakura ran up to rescue him from the evil cat from hell. Tora was an abused, orange cat that belonged to the wife of the Fire Lord, she ran away from her robust owner on a daily basis and this was the nineteenth time that Team 7 had been told to find her, they, by now, were the unofficial experts in getting the runaway feline and had set a record at forty-five minutes and nine seconds that had yet to be beaten, the closest anyone had come to it was Team 8 who took and hour and twenty minutes to catch the cat. Meanwhile, Sakura managed to free Naruto from Tora and started to calm the kitty down by making soft little cooing noises like she was talking to a baby and petting behind the animals ears.

Naruto grinned triumphantly even though he was covered in shallow cuts that were bleeding sluggisly and that made him look rather macabre, all sharp grinning teeth, wild hair and dripping red gashes. Tora hissed hatefully at him from her new perch in Sakuras arms. Cats absolutely detested Naruto, dogs too... in fact most animals either shied away from him or attacked him, in Sasukes memory his teammate had been attacked by three horses, eight dogs, two cats, a snake, a squirrel and a rather vicious canary. Only the horses, dogs and cats had managed to hurt him and only the dogs seriously. A mangy looking mongrel had broken the blondes arm, or at least Sasuke though it had because two days later Naruto was back in action and didn't even have a bruise to show for the incident. Maybe it was a bloodline limit, though the Uchiha had never heard of one like it before.

Before he could get to caught up in his thoughts about his teammates maybe-non-existant bloodline Kakashi apeared in a swirl of leaves and dust, holding his icha icha book and giggling perversly. Sasuke scowled and mentaly ranted as Sakura, realising that the mission was over, sidled up to him and batted her eyelashes in what she probably though was an inviting way, in reality it just looked like she had a tic in her eye or something and Sasukes scowl deepened as he stepped away from her. The pinkette followed him, undetered by his obvious dislike and asked him in a shy voice if he'd like to go get something to eat later. He refused, she looked like she was going to cry, Naruto glared bloody murder at him and Kakashi hummed under his breath as he flipped another page of his book. God he hated this team!

The dark haired teen began to walk away in the vague direction of the village, Tora had ran pretty far this time and it would probably be around a half hour running until they caught a glimps of the village again. Sasuke wondered whether he should just kill the cat to prevent having to take on another stupid mission like this one. He doubted that his team would say no, Sakura would do whatever he said, Naruto hated the cat with a passion that rivaled Sasukes and Kakashi just didn't care at all. He was just about to turn around and propose the kitty-murder to his team when the ground beneath his feet gave an ominous rumble.

He threw himself to the side and covered his face on auto-pilot, a built in reflex from being on a team with Naruto who liked to blow things up at random and sometimes caused important buildings, areas and/or people to collapse. Kakashi and Sakura acted in a similar fashion, the silver haired jounin was sitting in a tree five metres to Sasukes left and Sakura was crouching behind a bush directly across from Kakashi. Naruto hadn't moved and was glaring irritably at his teammates. "I didn't do anything! You people have absolutely no faith in me!" he yelled in a hurt voice.

"No, we don't." Sasuke agreed with a small nod and then he tilted his head to the side to dodge the rock Naruto threw at him, the seemingly harmless stone exploded as it hit the tree behind him and Sasuke growled as a piece of flying bark whacked him on the back of the head. "You idiot! What if that had of hit Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted as she ran over and started to inspect Sasukes head with a matronly air, ignoring Sasuke attempts to shoo her hands away. Kakashi landed next to the blonde and looked at him sternly. "Naruto, now what did we say about trying to blow up Sasu-" he began but he was cut off by another rumble, this one louder and more violent than the other.

The ground rippled and buckled, the earth shifting to create a large gash through the trees, Naruto and Kakashi were on one side of the divide while Sasuke and Sakura were on the other. The gash was a few metres long and around three metres wide, Naruto was standing just at the edge of the hole, waving his arms madly as he tried to keep his balance, at first it looked like he was going to be okay but then a bit of the dirt beneath his feet crumbled and he was sent straight down into the fissure, Sasuke let out a small yell as he dove forward and managed to snag Narutos foot, the blonde jerked to a stop but his weight pulled Sasuke down too after a moment and he was left dangling over the endless abyss by his fingertips.

Sakura gave a scream as she dropped Tora and ran over to grab Sasukes hand just as he was about to let go, the cat gave an angry yowl before dissapearing into the undergrowth. Sakura ignored the fleeing feline and tried desperately to pull Sasuke up but the combined weight of her teammates dragged her down without a seconds notice. Kakashi was caught between rolling his eye and frowning in worry as he lept forward and caught Sakura by her collor as she fell, his other hand grabbed a nearby tree for support and he slowly started to drag his team back onto stable land. Unfortunately the small eartquake from before had loosened the roots of the tree that Kakashi was currently holding onto and with a loud snapping noise it gave way and sent Kakashi tumbling head first into the fissure.

The four ninja tried their hardest to gain purchase in the smooth earthen walls of the chasm but it was no use, even Kakashi using chakra was ineffectual and with a thunderous roar the ground above them began to fold in and collapse, sending showers of dirt and grass sprinkling down on the falling ninja. The walls around them seemed to pulse and contract and suddenly everything went black.

((Break))

"Aaaaaaaaaargh!" a silver haired teen let out an agonised howl as he clutched at his ankle, he was sprawled out on the worn wooden floor in a crowded room full of brightly dressed people, beside him lay a loose pile of triangular metal blades that had been kicked around the floor when he'd tripped over them. Within seconds the man was surrounded by concerned friends all chattering loudly and waving their hands around trying to help. One voice was louder than the rest, it belonged to a blonde teenager wearing a blinding orange jumpsuit and the boy muscled his way to the front of the group to kneel down next to his injured comrade. His blue eyes were concerned as he tentatively reached out to put a hand on his friends shoulder.

Then he violently shook the silver haired teen and whacked him across the head with the metal back of his glove. "What the fuck are you playing at James! The skit is in fifteen minutes and now you've done...what? What's wrong with you!" he yelled and the teen on the floor groaned. "'S'rry, Kain... m'nkles...fuuuh..." he mumbled through the pain. The boy called Kain was not impressed and he poked the silver haired teens rapidly swelling ankle harshly, ignoring the muffled scream that the other made as he nodded to himself. "Yup, definately broken. Someone call an ambulance! Maria! Get your skinny arse over here!" he called back to the crowd who were mostly unaffected by his rough treatment of their friend, they'd all hung out together for years and Kain wasn't known for his tact.

A small redheaded girl with big, kohl rimmed green eyes knelt down beside him, she was talking rapidly into her cellphone and clutching a Shikaku plush toy to her chest. The squeaky voice on the phone garbled something down the line and she started to ask James questions about his injury, every so often flipping her overlong fringe out of her eyes to reveal the kanji for love drawn on her forehead. She shrugged her shoulders and loosened the large plastic gourd that had been strapped there as she looked around for something to brace James' ankle on. Maria was the only one among them who'd had first aid training, but that was because she was the only one with enough patience to stick with a course for more than a week.

Kain sighed and stood once he realised that he was no longer needed, the redhead had been making shooing motions for around five minutes before he got that she wanted him to leave, apparently poking at a broken ankle was detrimental to the healing process. The blonde made a face at James who stuck up his middle finger in response and then the both of them started laughing, James laughter was more like wheezing and Maria whacked him on the arm and ordered him to stay still while she tried to follow the medics orders on what to do until the ambulance got there.

Kain ran a hand through his hair and growled in frustration as he started to talk to himself. "Great...fucking great, now what're we going to do? Where the heck are we gonna find another Kakashi cosplayer within-" he glanced down at his watch "-ten and a half minutes?" Kain said to no-one in particuar, so it was a great surprise when a smooth voice answered him. "_We're_ not, _you_ are." said the tall dark haired youth who was leaning against a wall to Kains right. His long black hair was tied back on a low ponytail and he was wearing a highcollored black cloak with strange red cloud designs on it. The teens eyes were closed and to the unobservant it looked like he was sleeping standing up.

Kain sneered. "Ah, the Lord of the Underworld has graced us with his presense at long last. Just in time for out entire skit to fall apart, don't you feel special! huh Jae?" he said in a mock-happy voice, clapping his hands together excitedly and hopping from foot to foot like some kind of demented leprehcaun. Jae just gave a long suffering sigh as he rubbed his temples tiredly and opened his eyes, they were a shocking shade of red that was far too vivid to be natural. "And what d'ya mean "_you are"_ ?" Kain muttered, drawing out the last two words in a caritcature of Jaes drawling voice.

"Exactly what I said, you, my verticaly challenged friend, are going to find another Kakashi cosplayer, I'm sure whatever happened was your fault in the first place." Jae murmered, his eyes flickering around the room to land on James and Maria, concern flashed beneath the contact lenses and his lips twitched into a frown before his face was blank again. He truely was a great Itachi cosplayer, Kain mused as he took in the annoyingly tall, pale and still form of his best friend-slash-worst enemy. Jae also cosplayed as Madara, Orochimaru, Allucard, Sebastian, Kimblee and just about every cold-ass, pretty boy in the entire Animedom.

Kain just cosplayed as anyone who took his fancy, he had no problem with wearing a wig or cutting or dying his hair to suit the character, unlike Jae who refused to let anyone touch his waist length black hair, apperantly he'd been growing it out since he was a child and had no intention of ever cutting it. Today Kain was Naruto Uzumaki and later on, for a photo shoot he was going to be the Yondaime Hokage and Obito Uchiha, the spare cosplay gear was in his bag which was burried somewhere under the heap of bags and coats in the corner of the large room.

The reason that they were looking for another Kakashi and the reason everyone was gathered in the large hall was cosplay related as well. You see, Kain and Jae co-lead a cosplay team called AnimeFreaks that went to pretty much every anime convention they could, played out skits and entered competitions for best play, photoshoot, artwork ect. Anyway, the leader of a rival group Ray Evens post a blog on a website that basically bitched about AnimeFreaks and said how much better his group, OtakuTacos were. Kain had wanted to kick the crap out of him with Jae suggested a more diplomatic route, a cosplay competition. Both teams would act out a small play in front of a group of impartial judges and whoever won would be delcared the better team. But now AnimeFreaks only Kakashi cosplayer was out for the count.

"You can't expect me to find a competent Kakashi cosplayer in-" another glance at his watch "-seven minutes? You're insane, you go find one!" Kain yelled, running a hand through his hair and glaring at Jae, who seemed completely undaunted by his anger. "I do and you will, chop, chop. It's like you said, you only have seven minutes." and with that Jae gave Kain a small smile before turning away and melting into the crowd of cosplayers. The blondes eyes bugged out for a moment before he let out a frustrated screech and stomped off to find someone who would be willing to play the part of Kakashi.

As it was, no-one in the room wanted to play the part as they either already had a role in one of the plays or they just weren't interested. He was about ready to pull his hair out in frustration when a girl in Ino cosplay told him that perhaps someone outside would be willing to dress up. And so, with renewed vigor he ran outside the large hall that the competition was being held in and started to harass passers-by in the hopes that one of them felt up to coming inside.

So far he'd been whacked on the head with canes by three old ladies, beaten around by six girls with freakishly heavy handbags and punched by the six angry boyfriends of the handbag wielding girls. This was so not his day. Kain whimpered a little as he gingerly prodded the tender skin above his left eye where one of the boyfriends had socked him, he was sure to have a bruise there in the morning, he sat down on a near-by bench and plopped his head in his hands and fought the urge to cry, he was far to manly to cry...he made a small sniffling noise before pulling himself upright and re-tying his hitae-ate in a dramatic fashion.

"I'm cosplaying as Naruto Uzumaki today people! So that means that until I take this jumpsuit off I will never, ever go back on my word!" Kain yelled to the bench while striking a pose with one hand on his hip and the other pointing to the sky. People on the sidewalk started to give him wary looks as they walked off the path to avoid having to come too close to him and whispered to their companions. He was also pretty sure that one or two of them had called the police on him.

Oh the things he'd do in the name of Naruto!

**A/N**: I know the chapers a little short and onlyy covers half of the original first chaper posted by KittyMarks but I figured that it's better to have short and rapid updates then long ones that you have to wait months on. I'll try to update once a week =)

I hope you enjoyed reading =P. It would be super helpful if you guys could drop a comment on how you feel about the fic in a review.

Thank you.

x


	2. Faint

**A/N**: Okaaay, second chaper came out waaaay later than I thought. I was going through some internet troubles which also explains why this chapter is so short.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto, if you can recognise a character then the chances are that it's not mine.

**Warnings**: Um... nothing, I think. This chapter is rated K+ for... well nothing, this is a really tame chapter. XP

Kiss and Tell.  
_By DeceptiveSoftness._

Chapter Two: Faint

Naruto groaned and rolled over, he was lying on the wet pavement and judging by the smell he was probably an alleyway but that wasn't really anything new, he was also really cold and his head was killing him but, once again this was the norm so he didn't pay it much mind. It wasn't until someone poked him in the ribs that he reacted. While sleeping in a cold, wet alley was not anything to get too worried about, having someone else in the alley with him _was_, he swiftly dropped a hand to his kunai pouch and launched a knife at his attacker and grinned when he heard them curse. That'd teach the fucker to try and kill him while he was sleeping!

Then he realised that it was Sasukes voice and that the Uchiha had probably been trying to wake him up rather than attack him, he had this weird code of honour thing where he wouldn't attack an enemy if he was asleep or if his back was turned or some other crap like that. Sometimes Naruto thought that his teammate was confusing ninja with samurai. The blonde mumbled an apology and sat up, immediately regretting that course of action as his head started to swim and his vision blurred. He hadn't felt this sick since that one time when he'd drank that litre of bleach that had been diguised as orange juice. In retrospect he really should have been suspicious of the lady, who'd kicked him out of her store no less than forty-three times, giving him free juice but hindsight is a fine thing and he had been very thirsty that day.

Naruto groaned again and curled up into a ball as he tried to stop the world from spinning, after a few moments, when the ground stopped rocking like a ship in a storm and he cracked his eyes open to get a look at his surroundings. He was in an alley on the floor, exactly like he'd thought but Kakashi and Sasuke were also in the alley, Sasuke was glaring at him and rubbing at a thin cut on his cheek that was oozing blood and Kakashi was standing near the mouth of the alley, glancing around suspiciously like he thought the bricks would open up any moment and eat him...wait a minute. Images flickered through his mind one after the other, going so fast that they blurred together; Trees and fiery leaves and the plesant, warm feeling of a job well done. A yawning abyss, a flash of orange fur and the sensation of falling, hands scrabbling at hard dirt, stinging cuts and the sound of a girl screaming. Suddenly it all came back to him...

"The forest! The fissure! The _cat!" _he yelled standing up quickly and promptly falling back down in a vertigo induced dizzy spell. Sasuke snorted and kicked him lightly in the side. "Stay down until the dizziness passes, you idiot. And quit yelling, in case you hadn't noticed we're trying to stay unnoticed here." the black haired teen muttered gesturing to Kakashi who was still glancing around and keeping close to the alley wall and to the fact that the two of them were currently sitting behind a large trashcan. Naruto squinted through the pain to see that outside the alley was a place that was definately not the Hidden Leaf Village.

The houses were different, both in structure and design, taller, blockier and without the diversity normally seen in the Leaf. The clothes were different, more conservative and yet more revealing at the same time; girls in floor length skirts with sheer tank tops chatting to women in thick jumpers and short-shorts. Ninja villages played host to some very weird clothing styles mostly involving some sort of mesh or chain-mail but Naruto had never seen those weird shoes before -some kind of slipper-boot hybrid with fur everywhere- or the sleeveless almost-jumpsuits that were cut off mid thigh and covered in floral patterns and dozens of pockets. Girls who looked as young as eleven were out wearing killer high heels, mini-skirts and thin tops, all the while talking loudly to the little rectangular boxes in their hands.

The atmosphere was different, even in the Leaf Village, a place renown for being one of the few 'peaceful-good' ninja villages still had a tense atmosphere, most of it's inhabitants had lived through a vicious demon attack twelve years ago and had witnessed first hand the horrors of war a few years prior to that. Not all of them were civillians, in fact, over half of the people living in the Leaf Village were ninja or ninja-in-training so the innocent, light and naieve feeling of this strange place immediately pegged it for somewhere outside the Hidden Leaf Village. The air was different too, no longer the dry, crispy air of home, tinged with the slight chill of winter, this air was heavy and warm and moist and it covered his tongue and burned his lungs with every inhalation.

As Narutos sense of awareness slowly returned to him he noticed that something else was different too. Something was missing.

His team was a myrid of colours, all as unique and as wonderful as rare gems. Yellow and Orange was himself, bright and loud and cheerful with an underlying splash of warning, of danger, those were the colours he associated with himself. Black and Blue was Sasuke, silent and subtle and dark but still managing to shine despite the darkness, like an onyx polished to gleem. Silver and Grey were Kakashi. They may seem similar but they were two very different colours, the Silver was for the intelligence, the skill and the speed he possesed, all aspects of a Ninja perfectly honed like the sharp point of a knife and the Grey was for the dark humour in his voice whenever he showed up three hours late with a false excuse, saying the words like they were lines rehearsed, Grey was for the way his face tightened whenever he talked of teamwork and sacrifice and Grey was for the way he would stare off into nothing when he thought no-one was looking with eyes so grey they were almost black. Pink and Green were all Sakura. She was the soft pink of young love and blushes on pale cheeks, she was the lush green of growing things, of trees and grass and _life. _Naruto liked her colours the best, the bright swish of her hair and lively sparkle of her eyes, he liked the way her colours were all pretty and safe and soft, like a warm embrace.

Her colours were not in the alley, the lovely Pink and the lively Green were gone and his world seemed a little dimmer for it. His head swiveled wildly and he wondered how he could have missed the tight, tense look in Sasukes eyes or the worried tilt to Kakashis mouth, barely visable through the mask. How could he have missed the absense of laughing emerald eyes and the sway of candy coloured hair. How could he have missed her quick, feather light breathing -so distinguishable beside the steady breaths of her teammates- and the scent of cherry-blossoms on clear water. How could he have missed _Sakura_?

"Where is she?" he asked Sasuke, managing to keep the slight quiver of worry and the dark edge of threat out of his voice, quite the feat considering how woozy he still felt. The Uchiha looked away, his fists clenching lightly against the damp cement floor as his eyes scanned uselessly up and down the alley walls. It was several moments before he answered and Naruto couldn't help the twitch of his fingers toward the pouch that housed his exploding tags. "We don't know, we haven't been able to find her." he said eventually, his tone even and emotionless but his fists didn't stop flexing, the white bones of his hand visable as they strained against his pale skin.

"What! Where is she!" Naruto yelled, this time not bothing to disguise his worry or his anger, he grabbed the Uchiha by the front of his shirt and pulled him up so that they were nose to nose. Something inside Sasuke seemed to snap as his eyes darkened in anger and he slapped Narutos hands away. "I _said_ I don't know, you idiot! Are you deaf as well as stupid? he shouted back, drawing two kunai from their holster and leveling them at Naruto. A gloved hand landed on Sasuke shoulder and Kakashis calm, even voice stamped down the growing tension between the two boys. "This is not time for fighting. We wont find Saukra by squabbling uselessly between ourselves." he murmered and Sasuke dropped the knives and turned away. Naruto looked down at the alley floor, Sensei was right, Sakura was missing and they couldn't waste time fighting. They had to find her!

Sakura was having a very, _very_ bad day.

It had all started when she had woken up this morining to find her brand new alarm clock in pieces on the floor, it seemed that she had knocked it off her bed-side table during the night and it had shattered when it hit the ground. As a result she'd woken up two hours late and had no time to have a shower, all she'd managed to do was wash her face, brush her hair and her teeth and put on her clothes before rushing out the door to meet with her team. Her clothes were another problem, yesterday she'd gotten grass stains on her dress and put a rip in the knee of her leggings while doing a mission and her mother had offered to wash and mend them but somehow she'd forgotton and Sakura had been forced to wear a red vest top and a spare pair of beige trousers that were too-big for her and even when held up by a belt the ends trailed on the ground.

She was over an hour late to meet her teammates when she finally left the house and somehow _Kakashi_ had managed to get there before she did, and when you were later than _Kakashi Hatake _of all people you knew that you were running pretty damn late. Sakura has then been treated to a lecture on punctulity by her hypocrite of a sensei before being practicaly assaulted by Naruto who wanted to know why she was late and what had happened to her normal clothes and then she was ignored by Sasuke. And of course to make a bad day worse they were given the Cat Mission again. Sakura liked animals, she liked little furry animals and elegant flying birds and graceful swimming fish, her parents had always said with a wistful air that perhaps when she quit playing around being ninja she could become a vet.

They didn't seem to understand that she liked being a ninja, she liked helping people, knowing that she had to power to help, knowing that she had the power to protect people. Being a ninja meant that she never had to watch on as people were hurt or killed on front of her. It meant that she could take care of herself, that she didn't have to be the damnsel in distress. Admittedly one of the other reasons for becoming a ninja was Sasuke. If she was ever to be a damsel he would be her white knight, strong and sure and handsome... anyway, she was getting off track. To finish her first point, she loved animals of all shapes and sizes, loved the cute and fuzzy along with the sleek and wary but even she could not suppress the urge to just strangle that cat until it stopped yowling. And then she supposed she'd have to go and kill the Fire Lords wife for driving the poor feline into such a state that Sakura was forced to kill it.

She shook her head, making her pink tresses flare out behind her, now was not the time to worry about a cat, she had more than enough on her plate already. She'd fallen into a weird chasm in the earth that had appeared after a freak earthquake and been knocked unconscious and then woken up in a damp, smelly alleyway surrounded by trash and god knows what else. To make things impossibly worse Sakura couldn't even recognise her surroundings. It certainly wasn't the Leaf Village, the buildings the people, the fashion and the weather were all wrong. It wasn't even the same season. The soft, fiery colours of Autumn were exchanged for the startling blues and vivid yellows of Summer.

The pinkette growled low in her chest and lashed out with her foot, denting the side of one of the trash cans and spilling garbage all over the already filthy alley floor. Her emerald eyes widened when she heard a voice behind her speak with a mix of curiosity and amusement. "Hey now, what did the poor trashcan ever do to you?" Sakura turned around quickly and dropped a hand to her kunai pouch as she eyed the stranger in horror and a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

He was familiar and yet she was sure she had never met this boy before in her entire life. His hair was blonde and wild and stuck out around his head in an spikey halo but the colour was off, it was too bright and too sharp and so unlike the familiar gold she was used to seeing, it was longer too more of a mane, an indulgence than the short utilitarian cut that it should have been. His eyes were blue but they were a dark, almost black and she had the feeling that they should be brighter, _bluer_ because blue and black were never to mix in that tanned face. Blue was merry and black was dark, together they created a shadowed humour that was almost painful compared to the crystal clear hue she was used to. His face was too thin and the whisker marks were obviously fake, he was too tall and his clothes were the same blinding orange but looked tacky and far too new compared to the worn and loved jumpsuit of her teammate. And yet, despite all that he was the image of Naruto Uzumaki.

Sakura felt her knees give way as she fell to the alley floor and in the back of her mind Inner Sakura was ranting in disgust as the recently fallen trash squished into the fabric of her trousers. The Not-Naruto ran towards her just as she lurched forewards, her vision darkening and her pulse pounding in her ears. The last thing she saw before she fainted was an expression of concern on the fakes face, it was a look she'd seen on Narutos face when she got tired or bruised during training or on missions and the comparison of her grinning team mate to this too-thin parody made her sick. "What's going on..." she whispered before oblivion claimed her.

**A/N:** Thanks for reading.

Please R&R.

x


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